Stuffleufagus

It has been about four years since I first decided to step into the consulting lifestyle.  In that time one of my “children” has completed High School, and then his first year of college.  Next year my daughter will finish High School as well.

It has been an amazing four years for me – I have been able to spend time with my kids as required – but mostly I have been able to spend an inordinate amount of time learning.  Ten years ago I learned by reading books – today I learn more by surfing the Internet – it is still reading, but it is so much faster, and so much more available (and “find-able!”.

One of the things my time in consulting has taught me is that I miss people.  I miss the challenge of building teams – not just hiring people, but building functional groups that work well together to build more than any single persons could have done.

So, taking stock of my life, as I am often wanton to do, I asked myself, “What is next”?  In a year I will have two kids in college, and perhaps neither of them left at home.

It was time for me to answer the question, “What does Rob want?”.

So I looked back in my life experiences and tried to zero in on what made me the most happy – what did I love to do so much that I could do it for the rest of my life?  Raising children certainly tops my list – but I can’t raise them forever – in fact, I am already being outsourced in that position – by my children themselves.

Raising children is like building good teams - the end goal is that eventually they won’t need depend on you anymore.

I decided I needed to go back to work with people – preferably young, energetic people, and certainly people smarter than I am.  I have always been lucky in surrounding myself with people smarter than I am (and please – PAUL! – no comments that this should be easy – it isn’t).

This realization came over a several month period – I didn’t wake up one day having come to this “epiphany”.

I missed building teams.  I need to work with smart people.  I MUST work for a company that understands that I am a unique person – I am opinionated, passionate, determined, outspoken, opinionated, and outspoken.  And I am sorry if I repeated myself.  And I am sorry if I repeated myself.

I need a company that doesn’t exist outside of startups – I needed security, because I will have two kids in college.  It must be nimble.  It must be willing to listen, and learn – even as it teaches.  But I also needed the excitement that keeps me engaged.  I need to constantly invent.  I need to work with smart people that will make me smarter.  I needed to be someplace that allows me to make a difference every day.  I needed to build something that affects a lot of people, because after helping build WiFi – it takes a big project to be a “big deal”.

And most of all – I need to be able to help.  My work must have value – to me, and to the people I work with.  And to the customers – who I never shy away from or refuse a conversation with.

In the next day or two I hope to share with you the company that is all of that, and more.  How much more is something I expect to find out soon – and something I hope to grow over time.

But don’t worry – I won’t change my blogging style/habits.  I wouldn’t work for a company that thought they could control my freedom of expression outside the office.

The list of companies I wouldn’t work for is rather large.  So I’ll save you that and instead share with you in the next couple days who I would work for – and I will tell you exactly why I made that choice.

written by rob

I’m doing some research (no, I am not moving anywhere) and I used the CNN money tool to run the various costs of living for some “tech towns”.

It is amazing how expensive some areas are.  Considering that San Antonio is the seventh largest city in the country (larger than Dallas, or San Diego, for example), our cost of living has really remained manageable.

I’m also looking specifically into housing costs – comparing my current home to equivalent homes in each of the cities below.  That is taking a bit longer, but I hope to turn it into a future post.

If you are a tech geek, and want to make your money buy a bit more (or even a hell of a lot more!) you should consider San Antonio – we’ve got room for you (room you can afford!)

written by rob

I sold a blog post today – literally.  Some time ago (I won’t get specific) I wrote a 32 word blog post that had a random (seemingly) phrase in it that recently caught someone’s interest.  The phrase was also the blog post title. 

It was a “catch phrase” that I just made up – but now, (some time later), a company is launching a product that uses the same catch-phrase I coined (some time ago).

Since the way my post used the phrase was contrary to the goals of the company, and since it was unique, and it had good “Google Juice”, the company very politely, and without any threat or fear of threat (they acknowledged that I had “coined the phrase” long before they had) offered to pay me to kill my blog post.  They just wanted “clear title” to the phrase – and they wanted to be found if someone searched for it.

I cannot go into specifics about the post (now deleted) or the terms.  But it was substantial enough that I elected to delete something that I alone created and controlled.  It would not buy a car, or allow me to retire.

Sure – that info is still “out there” somewhere – in Google Cache, for example.  But in a very short time the Google Juice I have for the phrase will be dead, and the new owners of the phrase will get top billing on the search results. 

Which is what they wanted.

I didn’t delete anything significant – there were not even any comments on the post.  It was, like many of my posts, just “something weird I thought of and posted”.

Did I sell out?  I sure did.  But I didn’t sell anyone else out, so I am comfortable with my decision.

Did I get rich – no.  Would I sell another post for money – I doubt it – this was a very unique situation.  You could not, for example, pay me to delete any of the negative posts that I have written about any company or service here.

Some of my most popular posts are ones that I either praise or punish some company that I think is worthy of my opinion about them.  I would never consider selling those posts.

If you are shocked by my actions go look through your blog history and tell me there isn’t a single insignificant post you wouldn’t sell to help put your child through college.  I am sure you have a meaningless post or two that nobody would ever miss.

I traded a useless, silly, and ignored post for a chance to get my kid through college.  Judge me if you wish.  I have no regrets.  

written by rob

Another quick story from my time in Hawaii.

We had some great neighbors in our quad-plex housing in Hawaii – Chris and Cheryl Boyd.  Cheryl and I spent a lot of time together – we each were the primary stay at home parent, and we would often shop together – both on and off post.  We were both military spouses.  And we were all great friends.

After driving back and forth through the front gate many times together (in a single day) eventually the new guard waved me over.

“Sir, do you know that it is customary for you to return a salute when I welcome you to post”?

Me: “I am not in the Military”.

Him: “Then your wife should return my salute, sir”.

Me: “She isn’t my wife”

Him, flustered: “Uh well then sir, never mind.  Uh, I’ll mind my own business, sir”

He assumed one of us had to be in the military since we had an officer sticker on our car that told him “we” lived on base.  Then he assumed we were doing something naughty.

Assumptions are often my favorite basis in humor.

written by rob

This story is posted by request – from someone that was there, and has friends that don’t believe it happened.

For those of you that know me, you have heard this story many times.  For those that I haven’t spent more than three hours with, this may be new to you.

I don’t over-drink and drive.  A few beers over a few hours is all my small frame can handle and not become a threat on the road. 

Back in 1997, when I still lived in Hawaii, and was still married, and could still golf – I had a weekly tournament every Wed evening at a par three lighted course at Hickam Air Force Base in Hawaii.

A large group of us would play nine holes, for money (chump change) and then repair to the Tenth Puka for a few cold drinks, and some Karaoke (for those in our group that could sing, or thought they could).  It was always great fun, and for some time it was the favorite part of my week.

On this particular night we had company in town, and everyone decided that spouses would join us at the club after our game (which finished at about 9pm).

When we finished golfing there were about 15 of us that hit the club, and another 8-10 spouses joined us.  We were having a very good time – good enough that the bartender was buying rounds, I was buying rounds – everyone seemed to be buying rounds.  We drank to excess and had fun to an extreme. 

We had a designated driver, Esther – and the more we drank, the more everyone cheered her on for her wonderful Karaoke skills.  As the only sober member of the group, Esther got a kick out of the fact ANY of us thought she could sing. 

I didn’t sing – my job was doing the whistling for “On the Dock of the Bay” (which I could, and still can do well – even sober!)  Amazingly, this song would come up 6-8 times every evening.  Everyone thought they could sing it.  I always got the second mike and the whistling

The club was supposed to close at 2am, and after 2:30 the Military Police finally told the club manager to shut it down.  It had been a lot of fun, but it was coming to a close.

As we walked out of the club there were two lesbians having a domestic disturbance and my (now ex) wife tried to calm them down – that was pretty interesting – I thought she would get her ass kicked, but that didn’t happen – we dragged her away from the couple and piled into our Ford Taurus – headed back to our community a few miles away. 

We had a designated driver.

Esther was not from Hawaii – in fact she was just passing through with her husband on the way back from a three year tour in South Korea – they stayed with us for a couple weeks, as we had been friends for over a decade.  She wasn’t familiar with the route and had to rely on a car full of drunk officers (and me) to get her home.

To be specific, Esther was a Senior Enlisted Active Duty member – her husband was an Active Duty Army Captain.  My now ex was an Active Duty Army Major, I was a civilian, and we had one more friend with us – Mark Bean – an Active Duty Special Forces Army Major.

As we approached the gate leaving Hickam Air Force Base a young Airman tried to wave over the car in front of us – evidently they we doing “random” vehicle checks (looking for drunk drivers).  The car in front of us just accelerated and sped away – it was a three lane road and the car moved quickly, so they could not stop them.

As several in our car told Esther to just drive through she (being sober) decided she should probably stop as the Airmen waved us to the side of the road.

Now normally, everything would have been ok – we were drunk, no doubt.  But Esther was completely sober.  We had a designated driver.  We were gold.  Or so we thought.

Of course, it wasn’t that simple.  Just as the bar closed I had bought two cans of beer and my ex and I had both brought them with us.  It was a five minute ride home, and I didn’t think carrying a beer would be a big deal.  I was wrong. (at that time in Texas, my home state, it was legal for a passenger to have an open container)

Stupid, I know.  I wasn’t in Texas!

In any case, we were pulled over.  I shoved my beer under the front passenger seat (I was sitting in the rear passenger seat).  My ex put hers in her purse.

If everyone would have kept their mouth shut, it probably would have been a two minute stop.  Of course, not everyone did.  Mark Bean was very drunk, and he was being pretty belligerent (I know – who would expect behavior like that from someone in the Special Forces!?).  This caused the Military Police to investigate further.  They asked us all to get out of the car, and they collected the ID cards from each of us.  We were asked to stand to the side, in the very wide median next to the guard shack.

As the MPs started searching the car, they found my beer – and things got interesting.  They called for the officer on duty, and Mark Bean was trying to piss in their guard shack (really), all the while talking about “Air Force pukes”.  Things were not going well at all. To these 18-20 year old MPs it probably looked extremely chaotic and out of their control.

And suddenly my ex darts to the car and grabs the beer I had left, which the MPs had found and placed on the hood of the car.  She tried to throw it across three lanes of traffic but only made it about a lane and a half.  As the beer hit the pavement the MPs came running back and saw a can of beer, spinning in the middle of the road, and spewing foam all over.  “Ma’am – please don’t tamper with the evidence”, the MP told my ex.  He was VERY polite and VERY correct in his demeanor.  For an 18-20 year old kid dealing with a bunch of drunk officers, he was extremely composed and professional.

At this point I am sure someone, if not all of us, is going to jail.  As the MPs call in this new information, still waiting for the boss to show, Mark Bean starts calling out to Esther - “Esther, are you ok, Esther?  How much did you have to drink?  You ok?  You aren’t drunk, are you?”.  This was NOT a good thing – to this point the only thing we had in our favor was that we were responsible enough to have a designated driver – which might forgive some of our other transgressions.

As Mark continues to yell Esther assures him (and the MPs) that she had nothing to drink and that she was fine, at which point Mark started yelling loudly, “Esther is golden, Esther is Gold!  Yes, Esther is Gold!!!”

We were lucky that night – the commander on duty thought it was more important that we had a designated driver than the fact we were all trashed, we were driving with open containers, and we were tampering with evidence.  He let us go.

I have had a lot of respect for the wisdom of authority since then – they certainly could have affected several military careers that night – and even as the only civilian, I still had a job that would have been affected – I was the Mayor.

So thanks, young Air Force guys – you did us all a favor when we did seemingly everything in our power to convince you to do otherwise.

That being said – it was still a wonderfully fun evening that we often get together and talk about still – even though it happened over a decade ago.

Don’t drink and drive – I use this story as an example to my kids of “responsible” drinking, even though we still made stupid mistakes

written by rob